Is this what I wanna be doing...

 I heard a story the other day of an old woman, who lived her life every hour as if Christ could return any moment.  She was sitting at an outdoor play and suddenly became upset saying, "I don't want to just be sitting here being entertained if Christ comes right now!  I would much rather be serving."  Ever since I heard this a couple of days ago I think several times a day, "is this what I want to be doing when Christ comes back?"  I wanna live the rest of my life like this, living as if Christ could return at any moment, because after all, He could!  The Bible says, "Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come." Matt 24:42.  God has laid two concepts on my heart regarding this matter, the first is money.  We have been having a lot of financial difficulty lately and our house was hit by the tornado and sustained damage. God has been SO FAITHFUL to meet each and every one of our needs, in so many different ways, financially, prayers, and encouragement- thank you to every one!  My faith has grown immensely.  While I'm watching Him provide, I'm starting to realize, this is God's money!  Used to be if I had an extra dollar I would find a way to carelessly spend it.  After this season I'm beginning to live like Christ is visibly beside me every minute, would I spend this dollar I have on this if Jesus was right here?  Would I want to be using His resources in this way if He came back this hour?  Every penny we have is from Him.  He is our provider! "Every good and perfect gift is from above,coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows" James 1:17, it's His money!  I want to honor Him with it.  I repent of the careless ways I have used His money.  Piling up debt, and spending on things just to satisfy my wants on every whim.  God please forgive me!
  The second concept God has been laying on my heart is, serving.  Serving so does not come naturally to me, it's absolutely not my spiritual gift :) But I have felt convicted of my selfishness.  Getting burned out picking up clothes off the floor, cleaning, and dumping the trash!  Every day I would wake up exhausted just going over my list of to-do's.  The many I roles I play, "wife,mom,friend,daughter,employee" too much!  When do I get time for me?  I'd been so cranky.  Consequently, or not consequently I have been reading through Matthew.  My heart is changing as I read about Jesus pouring out His life serving others.  He spent all of His day seeking out ways He could share love, truth, and serve those around Him.  He was on a mission.  I have been so selfish!  In the deepest part of my heart I long to be like Him.  I long to share the love He has so generously poured out into my life.  I'm starting to see, all these roles,all this work I've been given, are opportunities to do just that.  My flesh is kicking and screaming at the very thought of it!  But is me having "me" time, alone doing what I want, when I want to, the way I want to be when Christ returns?  No, so I am praying God would burn these concepts into my every fiber of my being.  I pray I live every day, by His power and might, not my own minimal strength and energy.  Then and only then can I live my life in expectancy as if He were to return any minute! Pray for me!